Boltor the Bombastic

Boltor the Bombastic came from walking around the Sheffield Triples in 2001 with too much time on my hands as the Triples competition had been cancelled that year (nothing at all do to with foot and mouth disease as the English hadn’t discovered it running rampant at that time). Well, to be totally honest, it also came from the fact that my wife had not held my Visa Card or Cheque Account for me that weekend either. A fatal combination – a wargamer, a wargames show with lots of Trade stands and either rubber money or the plastic fantastic in hand. Well, what is a fellow to do, I ask you?

To be honest, I had not looked too closely at the Two Dragons figures for a number of years and their stand was there in the Trade Area. I did actually need a cleric or two to complete the Epic Carolingians and as I walked past the Two Dragons stand, I noticed a cleric (or two). Included in the pack with the cleric was a village woman of imposing stature (big mamma rather than busty wench). As a result I looked more closely at the figures. There were many villagers and townsfolk in varying poses and so my mind started to tick over. This, of course, is also dangerous.

In most of the published fantasy fiction I have read, there is inevitably a small village or town that the hero and their group passes through, normally with an inn or a tavern where, after trudging through the snow for several days, said hero and entourage enter and take their fill of a hot stew (of mixed quality, depending on the author) and bread washed down with a large tankard of ale (incidentally, the rumour that I like a beef and Guiness stew, a large glass of beer and fresh bread as a meal is a nasty rumour and one that only applies in Korea). They also get to mingle with some of the local villagers who usually play a small bit part in the story. The forces of Boltor the Bombastic (retired hero himself) sprang from that thought and the Two Dragons figures. They also owe their existance, in part, to a Hordes of the Things Army developed by Jeff Bolton of Minnesota. Any similarities in the name of Boltor and Bolton are, well, nothing more than similarities as indeed are the similarities between the aging grey-haired gentleman who seems gravitationally challenged (and see the reasons why Australia is at the top of the world for the real truth) and the Great Boltor himself.

Indeed, at one point I mentioned Boltor on the Hordes of the Things list and the response was swift:

Subj:[HOTT] Boltor – was Re: Minis question this time… Two Dragons
Date:2002-07-03 8:44:36 PM Korea Standard Time

Sent from the Internet (Details)

Original: And who is Boltor the Bombastic?

Thomo the Lost: Retired old verteran who’d rather an ale to a battle – but who can still manage an heroic stance when the occasion demands it! 🙂 … But he sure can talk up a storm!

Basil of the Steppes: That ain’t the way I heard it…. Let me look in THE JOURNAL OF THE TRULY HEROIC (Volume III/123): “Boltor the BOLD (my emphasis), also called Bombastic by enemies and the envious. Charismatic. Devilishly handsome. Cunning. Brave. Master of martial skills. Champion of Truth, Justice, and Other Good Stuff. Humble and loveable. Has *never* been lost (although was confused for three days in the Great Old Forest during the War of Putting Paid to the Oppressive Alledged Nobility).”

Good thing I keep my TJOTTHs right here, eh.

Oooooo. You should see the entry for Thomli the Chronically Dislocated…..


The army list for Boltor the Bombastic is shown below:

Number Description Cost Points
1 Hero (retired) – Boltor the Bombastic and his retinue. 4 4
1 Spear General – the Mayor of the town and some of the town militia 2 2
1 Spears – the rest of the town militia 2 2
1 Shooters – local huntsmen formed as a body of bowmen and crossbowmen 2 2
1 Cleric – the local priest and his acolytes 3 3
1 Lurkers – local huntsmen hidden in the rough ground and woods, waiting in ambush for nasty enemies 1 1
10 Hordes – and hordes of villagers out to defend their homes and livelihoods, confident in the knowledge that Boltor will defeat the dark denizens for them 1 10
Total 24
Alternates: Magician – being the village wise woman and her helpers – I would suggest dropping the cleric and a lurker for this option @ 4AP; Hordes – more hordes, you just can’t have enough of them @ 1AP.

I plan to commence working on this army (read, paint it) sometime in 2003. Now, I am writing this on 31 May 2003 so it will be interesting to see when I do actually get around to painting it. The figures, after all, were originally purchased in April 2001. They have travelled from Sheffield to Hemel Hempstead in England. From Hemel Hempstead to Korea and then from Korea to Australia and the only paint on them is the bottle of GW Inks that leaked on a flight.

Stand by for further news.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.